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Philip's avatar

To be fair, I think we are missing one important point on the pro-natalism argument. In that - as someone who doesn’t have kids (yet) - I do find a certain divide in general worldview with friends who have become parents. Having children appears to refocus people on what truly matters, not least because their “free time” goes to hell, but also because there appears to be a greater sense of responsibility for one’s actions and decisions. Among my peers I definitely see the desire to be the best versions of themselves, while being constantly humbled by the experience of being a parent and turning generally more risk averse. Becoming a parent definitely has a meaningful impact on a person, and therefore, not becoming one ought to have one as well.

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Brendan Hodge's avatar

It seems to me that natalism as a conscious movement is slightly odd in the way that traditionalism is slightly odd: it mostly works well if you choose it because it seems like the natural thing to choose. If you are consciously choosing and crafting your traditions, you're acting very differently from someone actually guided by tradition. And if you are very conscious about how everyone should have kids, you've to some extent given into the idea that having kids is an optional lifestyle choice.

My wife and I met at a small Catholic college and married five weeks after graduating. 23 years later we have seven kids, ranging from 7 to 22. A lot of the other people we know from college or from church likewise have what today counts as large families.

But this isn't part of a "we need to have lots of kids because of the demographic problems of the US" plan, but rather the natural outgrowth of two things:

First, if you combine the belief that it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage and that inside of marriage it's wrong to use artificial means of birth control (as opposed to selectively avoiding sex during infertile times in order to space children) with the natural desire of young people in love to have sex -- you end up with people who marry young enough to have a lot of kids. We had 5 of our 7 kids before age 30, so it's kind of natural that we had more kids that a couple who married at 30.

Second, in a worldview in which human persons are unquestionably good things, meant by God for eternal life, the trade offs involved in spending your life bringing up little persons seem more worthwhile. This isn't to say that I've never grumbled at having a small person onto me in the middle of the night (or even natter endlessly about Pikachu), but it does give you a clear reason for why it's worth going through all that. Sure, I've had many co-workers over the years say things like, "It might be nice to have kids someday, but right now my wife and I are really focused on travel." But while I'd like to travel and hope to do it more as the kids grow up and move out, having a worldview about the relative important of human beings and trips to Machu Picchu makes it possible to get off the fence on questions like "is this the right year to make the jump into having kids, or should we wait another year?"

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