I am traveling in Krakow with my son who is nearly 20, and later to Budapest alone. After reading your essay, I feel the satisfying weight of fatherhood. Fatherhood is “heavy” in your sense and yet it is also well-fitted to my being. In this way it is also light—joyous.
To be with this young man. To hear his ideas. To feel his love of travel and the world. To hear Chopin. To visit Auschwitz. To have a beer with him. These are the antidotes to anxiety and dread. But I must also carry the weight.
Such a poignant Monday note! Weaving together all the great pieces, podcasts and chats over the past few weeks. Rewarding in its seriousness. Thanks for the reflection!
This is a beautiful essay. It reminds me of a documentary Louis Theroux did on alcoholism where he finished on the note that alcoholics are simply people who are more vulnerable to the twists and turns of life than others. It strikes me in your note that 'heavyness' is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. It grants us the feeling to sift through 'lightness' and really feel what matters but also that weight can and has crushed people. At the very least it can significantly alter in negative ways someone's life when that heavyness comes from events which we struggle to process.
In your example if the worst had happened not only would it have been the worst day in the lives of your parents but I imagine that image would also have haunted you for a significant amount of time or even perhaps until the end of your days. So, I guess, heavyness grants us the ability to find significance and meaning which is so vital but it can also overload us especially if are perhaps unprepared or unable to face that meaning in its true form.
i think that's exactly exactly right. On thought I had reading Oyler's essay is that the feeling of the world being empty and of it being full seem to go together. Like she's listing a million things that matter to her, but then she finds herself lost with so many issues that are important spinning frantically together.
I don't really know how to think about the next step, though i wonder if that's why stoicism has started to appeal to so many people
I think on the question of stoicism there is perhaps something in that. I know a fair few people who've been through CBT who then go on to promote the virtue of stoicism as almost a counter-acting balance. There's definitely something in that I think :)
This is a beautiful essay, Sam.
I am traveling in Krakow with my son who is nearly 20, and later to Budapest alone. After reading your essay, I feel the satisfying weight of fatherhood. Fatherhood is “heavy” in your sense and yet it is also well-fitted to my being. In this way it is also light—joyous.
To be with this young man. To hear his ideas. To feel his love of travel and the world. To hear Chopin. To visit Auschwitz. To have a beer with him. These are the antidotes to anxiety and dread. But I must also carry the weight.
Blessings on this day.
Such a poignant Monday note! Weaving together all the great pieces, podcasts and chats over the past few weeks. Rewarding in its seriousness. Thanks for the reflection!
beautiful essay Sam
This is a beautiful essay. It reminds me of a documentary Louis Theroux did on alcoholism where he finished on the note that alcoholics are simply people who are more vulnerable to the twists and turns of life than others. It strikes me in your note that 'heavyness' is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. It grants us the feeling to sift through 'lightness' and really feel what matters but also that weight can and has crushed people. At the very least it can significantly alter in negative ways someone's life when that heavyness comes from events which we struggle to process.
In your example if the worst had happened not only would it have been the worst day in the lives of your parents but I imagine that image would also have haunted you for a significant amount of time or even perhaps until the end of your days. So, I guess, heavyness grants us the ability to find significance and meaning which is so vital but it can also overload us especially if are perhaps unprepared or unable to face that meaning in its true form.
i think that's exactly exactly right. On thought I had reading Oyler's essay is that the feeling of the world being empty and of it being full seem to go together. Like she's listing a million things that matter to her, but then she finds herself lost with so many issues that are important spinning frantically together.
I don't really know how to think about the next step, though i wonder if that's why stoicism has started to appeal to so many people
I think on the question of stoicism there is perhaps something in that. I know a fair few people who've been through CBT who then go on to promote the virtue of stoicism as almost a counter-acting balance. There's definitely something in that I think :)